wednesday

namaste!

well, things are settling down in my head. i have gotten to a place where i am not feeling antsy about doing nothing. this is unusual for me. every thing i do is an event: bathrrom, eating, laying in the sn, buying soap, reading, washing my hair...this is good. ths is the mental state i need to be in so that when i come hom i can hav eal this empty room in my head to organize everything that will be happening there. a fresh start, mentally...

today i was a bit sunburnt so i went to the capital of Goa, margao, about an hour away by bus. I was a little nervous because i have never takn a local public bus before. but it was realy easy and very enjoyable as i had a window seat and the breeze was delightful and the views were interesting. i went to margao spcifically to find embroidery thread, needle, cloth and round holder-thingy, so instead of reading i can try out some embroidery and see if i like it. s, i got off the bus in margao, found the market, and one of the 1st shops i found ws fo rembroidery. very pleasing. i bought 3 different colors of thread, and some blue cloth to sew on. i am happy. i just sat over my late lunch of cheese sandwich and drew a design i can follow. next i just will transfr the design and start and see what ahppens. i need some scissors though.

i saw some ows hanging out i th field with a bunch of egrets. the rice paddies are dry right now but they are still beautiful in that they are very organized looking. there is some lovely foliage here, som flowers suddenly pop out of nowhere and shock you with their elegance. others are small and you have to look for them but they are pleasing whn you discover them hiding. i saw that there is a rubber plantation and spice farm down the road a bit and i wonder if me and koa might not just go check it out.

kora has her motorcycle liscnse and you can rent motorcycles here. maybe we can take a ride down the road. would be nice. she comes tomorrow at some point in time. i will wait for her on the beach, i've given her directions on how to find me.

i'm eading this book about realizing your destiny. it is written very beautifully, but i am wondrng if the beautiful writing is tricking m nto thinking this book is really saying something. it is called "the alchemist" by paulo coelho. has anyone read it? what did you think? i am thinking this is for people who don't nkow what the hell they are doing in life. i am not very lost, if lost at all.

i met these russians yesterday who wer great. a guy and girlfriend we talked about america, how they cannot get a visa to come. maybe 3000 people apply and only 10 get visas. but they were describign the traffic rules in russia, sounds like the traffic here, meaning there are no rules...they said a friend of theirs was in the USA, rented a car and was driving down the highway. they missed their turn, so as one would do in russia, they simply put on their hazzard lights and began backing up down the highway. and suddenly, another car came up behind them, going in the proper direction...and WHAM! ran right into the russians. so the americans called the police to report the accident, told them that the russians were driving in reverse down the highway. then the polie came up to the russians' car, laughing, and said that those people who hit them were crazy! they said you were in reverse on the highway! and the russians got off for nothing. maybe this is not funny to you, but hearing this story from the russians i met was hilarious!

last night i had some difficulty going to sleep, but i learned that i am able to create my own movie for myself if i just lay there and relax long enough without frustration entering in. it was really nice. finally i drifted off and tehn the rude people who just moved in next to me came in about 1am (i was sleeping around 9:30) and were laughing and talking and shouting, drunk or stnoed i don;t know. i was so pissed. this beach is supposed to be laid back and chill, not frigging party central. i kept "sh-ing" them and i think this morign they laughed at me like i was a nerd, btu who cares? they probably woke up about 100 people around in the surroundng huts an dhosues, both indian and tourist, and i think it's rude. oh well.

i had all this big meanngful stuff to say that i've been thinking abut, and now it is gone. i'll have to start taking notes on my thoughts. my memory is shot...not fair! too early!

see ya!